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In 1978, for example, The Jewish Man was proclaimed “the new sexual hero.” This pronouncement was made in a now out-of-print book called , but stay with me.“Throughout recent history, the sexual heroes have been the Clark Gables, Humphrey Bogarts, Gregory Pecks, Robert Redfords,” reads the foreword of the book, which I have on loan from a friend’s personal irony library. It’s divided into subsections (“The Jewish Man and Things,” “When He Takes You Home for Dinner”), each of which contains a list of observations on the topic, usually starting with “he” (“He folds, never crumples, the paper”).What they lack in stature, they make up for in good character and fun holidays.I'm not biased because I've been wading in this Dead Sea of candidates for my entire lifetime — I'm actually quite tired of it.Likewise, the handful of non-Jewish fellows I dated—the hockey player, the Scrabble champion, the Mainer I nicknamed “L. Bean”—I dated not because there was something I liked about dating non-Jews (The rebellion! I’m not saying I don’t see that Jewish men are lovable; I get why Woody Allen could be considered hot.

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Even when I reached my 30s, the all-the-good-ones-are-gay-or-taken decade, there were always enough to choose from that I continued to see Jewish as a given, not a plus. ), but because there was something I liked about , starring our boyfriend, Robby Benson. ) Here’s where I’m going with this: I don’t mean to sound open-minded to the point of cluelessness, but I’ve never quite understood the fetishization of Jewish men.

The story begins in the Bible, where the best men are portrayed as more brain than brawn (see: the bookish Jacob, who outsmarts his burly brother Esau).

In the Book of Proverbs, a man is instructed to treat his wife with respect: “Have joy with your wife…

Be always occupied in your love towards her.” But it wasn’t until the Babylonian Talmud that Jews came up with a blueprint for the ideal man, says Daniel Boyarin, historian of religion at the University of California, Berkeley and author of Unheroic Conduct.

Gentle, pious and scholarly, this new model was the original Yeshiva bocher—a stark contrast to the traditional Roman warrior of the time.




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